Willingly Disobedient

It has been far too long since I have posted here. The extreme busyness of the fall semester (interviewing at med schools, traveling, classes, etc.) has gotten the best of me I am afraid. Now is the time to refocus my efforts on getting my thoughts onto a public forum.

I admit to being in a very awkward part of life at the moment. It is hard to imagine that soon I will be leaving USF and venturing to med school "X", at the same time I find myself longing to hold on to the lifestyle that many of my freshmen live (I'm a RA in the res hall). Kind of a weird mix at times...forced with the fact that I need to "grow up", while fighting the Peter Pan within. Also, I realize that there are several important decisions that will need to be made sooner rather than later. Decisions that will affect the rest of my life. Why is it so hard for me to make such decisions.

As I ponder on it, I really believe it is the lack of identity I have in God. The past couple of years has really wrecked my faith...not necessarily for the worse. I write "wrecked" and I feel bad, but this is what I feel has happened, the faith that I grew up with and believed...just 'cuz no longer cuts it. The time has come for me to consider what my faith means to me and what that means for my life ahead. So when I say "wrecked" I refer to the fact that my faith has been and is still needs to be put back together.

The big thing I fight in this battle is the "been there done that" feeling. I have read the Bible so much and been to so many "christian events" that it almost has become stale. Woe to me! I am thankful for my realization of this, because for the Bible to grow stale means for life in Christ to lose its zeal. I'm a product of a system (American faith) that freely offers "cheap grace"...if the grace of the Bible isn't your cup of tea, let me offer you the next big thing. We (including me) settle so often!

You see, I am very often willingly disobedient. It is sooo easy to justify my sins. What always suprises me though is the Holy Spirit's stubborn pull on my heart. I know when I do wrong, no matter how hard I try to justify it in my mind, I feel plagued with a nagging guilt. Thanks be to God for this! I read the Bible and come to the words of Christ....he couldn't really mean everything literally could he? What if Jesus meant what He said? All of his teachings suddenly weren't the product of his time, but instead instructions for everyday life. I wonder how much different our world would look if this were the case....hey, I wonder how different my life would look if this were the case! So many of us Christians hide behind the guise of misunderstanding when it comes to the Scriptures....we understand it perfectly well, we just don't like what it means to the comforts we are accustomed to! So we settle, we become willingly disobedient.

The challenge is then set before me. Perhaps the challenge I have had in finding my new identity in Christ arises from my inability to fully submit to God and be obedient. I must fight the mainstream media, enemies, my own sinful desire, and even friends and family at times to fully submit my life to God, answering his call on my life, wherever that leads me....I must become willingly disobedient to the status quo.

Wandering

I attended Lifelight this weekend. I love it there....so many people united for the sole purpose of lifting up the name of Jesus. Kutless was probably my favorite show. The lead singer touched on a couple issues that I found to be near to my heart.

Perhaps my favorite was his discussion of how easy it is to feel distant from God. I must confess that there have been times the past couple of years that I have felt distant from God. Times where I feel so confused. I know that I am a believer, I know what God has done in my life, but I still feel lost and like I lack direction.

He spoke something to the effect of that its never God leaving us...it is us leaving Him. I was really struck by how true that is in my life. My pastor preached a sermon last weekend in which he talked about grieving the Holy Spirit. I think that there are definitely times where I fall short and do things that grieve the Holy Spirit. Times where anger takes over....times where bitterness settles in, times where I become self centered.

The question is why do I do these things. There has never been a better part of my life than when I felt near to God. For one...my sinful nature runs amok in my life. I feel like Paul...I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I want to do. Sometimes I don't let go of past hurts and sin thrives. Revenge is such a nasty thing.

So as I heard this singer talk about this...I thought of a battle plan. How can I (and we as Christians) avoid wandering from God? I believe it takes a constant effort from us. Prayer is huge. Most complications in relationships arise from lack of communication. I don't think it is any different for our relationship with God. The Word of God is also important. It provides the blueprint for how to navigate through dark times.

It is my prayer that this year, I would not only be able to minister to the men on my floor in Burgess Hall, but that I would once again find that hope in Christ. That He would be my everything. All praise to Him!

Patience...or lack thereof.

Came across this little gem tonight in my reading.

⁹The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9

Patience....It is something I severely lack at times. We live in such a fast paced society. If my Internet browser takes longer than 3 seconds to load I am giving my index finger a major workout by clicking that left mouse button repeatedly. Remember the days of AOL?? The crazy sounds the computer would make as your dial up (remember that?!?) modem got fired up....seems so slow now to us. At the time however, being able to connect to the world in 5 minutes was amazing!

I bring up this example to show how incredible relative our understanding of time and speed is. What seems fast today will seem slow tomorrow. This relativity we give to "slowness" leads me to believe that we don't know a hill of beans about keeping time.

You see the people in Peter's day expected Jesus coming back pronto....that was 2000+ years ago! Jesus's return seemed overly slow to them. It can be easy for us to say the same thing with each passing day....what is taking Him so long? Why is this process so slow?

Peter tells us that God is being patient (something that I and many if not all of my human brothers and sisters know very little about). Why? To summarize...He love us fallen sinners! Let's face it...if Christ came back today...how many would He take with Him? Probably not as many as we think. This should cause us to tremble a little bit...are we truly living lives that are bringing glory to the Creator?

Check out the next verse
¹⁰But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.
2 Peter 3:10.

We don't know when Jesus is returning...but we do know that it will come swiftly without much warning...like a thief! May this be an ever present reminder that our lives must be living testaments to how much we lover our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

PS

A side note....www.factcheck.org...check it out. With all of the media coverage of politics today (esp. bashing every known policy of Pres. Obama) I suggest everyone take time to get the facts before believing what the newspeople say. This site is unbiased (trust me...they've thrown the BS flag on Obama as well) and will allow us to become better informed people.

PPS
And finally (longest blog entry yet?!) a quote from John Wesley...I will elaborate more on it next entry. This quote reflects on what I believe is the current struggle conservative and liberal christians find themselves in.

"Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may. Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences"

Tragedy

Tragedy....first of all...summer is only a month longer...major tragedy. It has been a fun one but one that has gone by far too fast. Hard to believe the final year of college is going to be starting in a month!

I have continued to read this book called Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White. I don't agree with everything in the book but I do find some of his thoughts dead on. One of these ideas is his opinions on tragedy.

Ever heard someone say "It happened for a reason" after something terrible happened? I'm not sure I buy that anymore. The example he gave was his youth pastor and friend. They were driving along until a downed power line came into contact with them. Both were killed. Both had young kids who would no longer have a father. Several people told the author that they believed God took them so that someone could come to know Him at the funeral or later.

Is this really how God works?? Does he need to take people from Earth to bring others to Him? Couldn't so many more people have been impacted by these men if they were still alive today? I don't think God works this way. His friends were killed because there was a freak accident that they happened to be a part of. Don't get me wrong I believe God knows about it, but I don't think He causes it to happen "for a reason". We live in a fallen world. Sometimes bad things will happen to good people just because bad things happen. Tragedy is not discriminatory.

My own personal faith life has its challenges. How I long to just get "back in line". Why is this so difficult? Probably due to the stress in my life...the lack of effort on my part...my stubborn insistence to do things on my own. Life is hard....following God in life is harder. May I continue to strive to make things better. To Him be the Glory!

Summer!

Heyo, it is has been quite a long time since I last posted.

Summer has been magnificent. Working at the USF chemistry lab doing some research on polymers and such...not too challenging. Continuing my quest for medical school...got a 29S on the MCAT...pretty good...we will see how God works it all out. Golfing, hanging out with friends...living the dream.

One reflection I have about summer is how incredibly easy it can be to become distracted from God. Isn't it funny how during the year we make the excuse we are too busy to be with God, but when all of the homework and tests are done...we make new excuses. Bottom line...it is hard in our world to stay focused on having a relationship with Jesus. However, I am trying to make it a goal to commit my mind and heart to scripture meditation each and every day. Some days I am better about it than others but I continue forth no matter what.

I am astonished at how out of character I get when I don't spend time with God. Angry temper outbursts come out more often when I am lackadasial in my approach to Jesus. It really should go to show me the power of having God close. It is my hope that as I grow closer to him, He will give me greater self control over the negative feelings I can have from time to time.

More continuing amazement at the incredible ignorance of some people to politics and faith. "Good Christians are Conservative Republicans", says a guy (who we will call Percy)....how ridiculous...I could write a whole entry about my feelings about such statements, but will save it for another time (lunch break is only for a bit ya know?).

Read list:
Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White by Adam Hamilton
(a must read for any Christian who considers themselves politically minded...or wants to chime in intelligently on a political issue. I don't agree with everything he says in the book, but he lays both sides of hot button issues, allowing us to use the mind God gave us to draw our own conclusions...talk about it civilly, and come together as one united church in the end...great stuff).

Allies and Enemies by can't remember
A cold war novel about Lex Luthor teaming with Russians and Batman and Superman coming together to save the day...how sweet is that??

Not the one I want!!

So, It's been awhile since I blogged on here. To be honest, school has been roasting me lately. I'm doing alright but I seem to have a mongo test every other day. Officially...I am burnt out. At least there are only like 2 and half weeks left to go. Here's hoping they go well and quickly!!

I decided to start reading some Old Testament lately. I was doing some thinking and realized that most of my devotion time is always spent in the New Testament. I think it is soo good to read about Christ and how He kicked it with his disciples. Solid stuff. However, I think it is dangerous to forget there is another part of the Bible. So...I decided to randomly pick a book and I picked Jeremiah.

I am on chapter nine right now, but a couple of my favorite parts to date. I love the first chapter. God gives Jeremiah encouragement and lays the call on his life. "Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms" ...Jeremiah 1:10. What a daunting calling. Yet, it is my belief that this is our calling as Christians. Now, I don't think this means everyone is meant to go overseas, stage a coup and reak havoc....haha...I think it means that we are supposed to take on everything in our world to bring it closer to God. May every knee bow before him. In order for this to happen, we need people who are willing to stand up to nations and proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ. The way I see it (got this from John Piper's book)...you are either a goer...a sender...or you are just disobedient.

Perhaps the heaviest hiting passage I've read so far...(there are plenty...apparently Israel had some issues with following God :P ) comes in Jeremiah 6: 16-17. Here God calls Israel back to the godly path. He goes so far as to say..."you will find rest for your souls". Israel's response..."No!, that's not the road I want!". Think about this....the creator of the universe is offering peace and comfort for your soul if you follow him and you say no, not for me. Seems silly when you sit back and think about it.

However, how often do I do that myself?? Almost daily! Often I find it easy to ignore God and try to do things MY way. His way is not the one I want some days. How foolish of me! His way leads to true comfort, mine usually leads to frustration and dissapointment. Lately, I've really been praying that God give me the desire and the humbleness to trust Him at all times. With all the nervousness I have regarding what will happen with medical school, it is vital that I put all my trust in Him. Here's hoping it goes well!

Yeah, I officially enjoy watching the hypocrisy of the media. I watched a special last night where they completely ravaged President Obama's speaking ability...their argument...they showed bloopers he has had in press conferences. President Bush was so often ridiculed for his speeches. Fox News finds this ridiculous...Obama is worse than Bush and yet no one makes fun of him.

Here's what makes me smile. Back when everyone was making fun of Bush....conservatives cried out against the liberals making fun of his speech. Now that the tables are turned they are doing the same things! Don't get me wrong both sides are ridiculously hypocritical in the media, but this made me smile.

For the record...if I had to give a speech everyday of my life I probably would sound like a doofus too!

Take care friends!

On Faith and Service...

I sit here tonight with a mongo Organic Chemistry test tomorrow and the MCAT looming for Saturday, but I really feel like writing some of my thoughts down tonight.

I was reading in Luke 17 today. Christ offers some instructive words for his disciples about forgiveness and faith. I love how Jesus doesn't hold restraint when he talks. There is no sugar coating his message. How terrible life will be for those who tempt others to sin and fall away from God. He says that if a believer sins, make sure to rebuke him and if he repents, FORGIVE him. I struggle mightily with this. It can be so easy for me to hold onto grudges. It is something I pray frequently about. This passage really tells me the importance of forgiveness.

I love how the disciples ask Christ questions...I can picture in my mind the slight smile he would get across his face as they asked him questions such as "We need more faith; how do we get more of it?" These men were his best friends, what a great feeling it must have been for him to see their desire to learn more about what he was teaching. Here, Christ's answer says much about the power of faith. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. Think about that...the power that lies in faith in Jesus. While I have never moved mountains, I have seen Christ work miracles in people around me as well as in my own life. Praise Him!

The last part of the first section of chapter 17 is my favorite. Christ talks about being a servant. How often do we do good things for people without thanks. Doesn't it bother you? Sometimes it really ticks me off that people don't acknowledge all of the work and sacrifice I've made to help them out. Christ uses the example of a servant preparing a meal for his master, he does it everyday without thanks. He is not thanked because he is doing what he is supposed to be doing. Christ then ends this section with this, "In the same way, when you obey me you should say, "We are not worthy of praise. We are servants who have simply done our duty." I think this is the attitude we need to adopt as Christians. Thanked or not, we must serve others (as Christ himself commands us to) and most of all praise and glorify Christ's cross. It is what we were made for, it is what we as believers and followers of Jesus are "supposed" to do.

The rest of the chapter accounts Christ healing some lepers and talking about the Kingdom of God...great stuff...check it out in Luke 17 :)

Today around our wonderful nation many people held Boston Tea Party-like demonstrations. While I totally respect their right to assemble, I find their cause somewhat silly. Don't get me wrong, I find it of the utmost importance to promote wise spending. However, I am not sure I understand the purpose of protesting taxes. First, who likes taxes?? Nobody, but we realize that for our government to run and provide assistance and services to us we need money. It has got to come from somewhere. Now, I'm sure some people could completely grill me on this, but I believe that is silly. Oh, and I read in the paper that our economy is starting to show some signs of life...housing markets are picking up in major cities (ex: Minneapolis), unemployment rates are going down...maybe the evil atrocities (*rolls eyes*) our President is committing by pledging our tax money to stimulus packages is actually working? Whoa! Anyways...if you did go to the Tea Party, I have no qualms with you, in fact, I support your desire to become involved in what is going on in our nation. All I ask is that you bring me your unwanted tea bag...I love tea :)

Anyways, enough politics...I hope the words of Christ resonate above any political rhetoric. It is He, that we can find life in. Praise Him!

Tragedy

I write this blog post with a heavy heart. I just got back from the visitation service of Brad Odens, a friend of mine from youth group and high school. While Brad was a couple years older than me, we bonded in youth group as for a couple years we were two of a small group of boys in a mostly girl youth group. He was a fun loving, quiet guy who loved to have fun. Lots of good memories were had with him both at church and at school in the HHS band. Like I told his parents tonight, I have nothing negative to say about Brad, he was a great man.

This whole situation has me thinking a lot about tragedy. It is almost cliche to ask "why does bad things happen to good people" However, this question burns into my mind as this happened to a family who has been good to our family and to the church as a whole. His parents are two of the nicest people in church. Brad, while obviously did not make wise decisions all the time (does anyone?), was also a great man. They are a family who knows and fears God...did a freak accident like this need to happen to them?

One of the great revelations I have had when it comes to situations like this is that God deeply cares about these happenings. He sheds tears right along with the family and friends who hurt with Brad's passing. While I think God rejoices to be with His children in heaven, I know that He does not delight in seeing a child of his have life end prematurely...He does not delight in seeing family and friends hurt that a child,brother, and friend has passed on. I believe God loves all people with all of his heart...there is no way the God I serve is indifferent to such a tragedy.

So I reflect upon the cliche question...bad things happen because sin is on our Earth. Because God loved us enough to give our own free will, situations like this happen. Sometimes things happen that we don't think are fair, and to be honest they are not fair a lot of the times...however, God's gracious gift of free will opens the door for us to make poor decisions. Sometimes people can live a life full of poor decisions and enjoy a long, relatively happy life. Other times, one poor decision can lead to a consequence that will forever change the lives of those involved.

My heart goes out to the Odens family, may God give them peace, comfort, and allow them to grieve for the loss of a dear son and brother. My heart also goes out to the shooter, who was operating in self defense. While I do not agree with his decision to shoot Brad, he obviously was scared for his life so I don't think he needs to be charged. However, I do think he needs much prayer...how awful to have to live with this for the rest of his life. Justified or not...he took the life of a human being, not something easy to deal with. I pray that he also finds comfort and peace that can only come from God.

This touches a button for me as far as my feelings on gun control, but I find this post not to be an appropriate place to write about such issues. May such tragedies remind us to have an open mind to this sensitive political issue.

Please take a moment to thank God for the life you have, it truly is a gift and something that should not be taken for granted.

Good Friday to you

Hey friends!

It's been a while since I've posted. Last week I was busy running for Student Body Vice President with one of my best friends Bill Ballard. The two of us came up 22 votes short! (445 total votes) Oh well...what can ya do? We both had a great time running and brought forth ideas that we can follow up on as senators next year. Looking forward to an exciting year.

Taking the MCAT in just over 1 week. Yikes! Super nervous about it, but I put it into God's hands. I pray that if medicine is where He wants me to be, it will all work out.

Today, I reflect upon the cross. Good Friday...it is so easy to "skip" over this day. We know the end of the story, we understand that Jesus died for our sins. May I not forget the price that was paid for my sins. The suffering my best friend and Lord endured on my behalf is almost too much for me to take at times. Imagining the aloneness he felt as his disciples left him, the agony he felt as he was whipped and beaten, the humiliation he felt as he was made a mockery of...how much he must love me! It puts into perspective so much for me, Christ endured it all so that I could be with him. Reflecting upon what happened on this day makes me realize the wondrous love He has for me. So undeserved it is, but how grateful I am for it. Praise Christ, the suffering servant of God.

Life has been hard for many people lately. I look at a family in my resident director's church. They just lost 4 babies (quadruplets that didn't survive more than a week)...imagine the devestation that would bring a young family. I think of an old friend of mine who was killed this week in a shooting in Brookings. He made a bad decision and it cost him his life...23 years old. I know the family quite well, and it is something that will cause much hurt for them. It makes me sad to sit and reflect about the suffering that some people are enduring right now. This is what makes Good Friday so important. Our Savior, while he could have simply spoke our forgiveness into being...instead took the most excruciating, humiliating way to overcome evil. We can go to him in times of suffering because we know he's been there. God had to make the ultimate sacrifice, the Son he loved so dearly. I look to God in times such as these, there are no answers that can bring comfort to people who lose their children, but God can bring them comfort because He lost his Son. I pray that those people will find the peace that rests in knowing God is in charge and that he is hurting right alongside them.

I pray that you have a blessed Good Friday. Take time to reflect upon the cross. The suffering that was endured there, the triumph it represents for all of us, and the man who hung there and his great love for you!

Did He REALLY mean what he said??

First off, thanks for all of those you have been praying for Favre, the guy on my floor with the mom with cancer. She went to Mayo last week to begin surgeries/chemo...etc. When the doctors did another test to locate the exact location (of the cancer that had been found in Sioux Falls), they were surprised to find out that there was NO cancer in her liver...or anywhere for that matter, just a fatty growth. Praise God! For miracles such as this, I am forever praising the creator of the universe for his power, his love, and willingness to answer his people's cries for help! Man, this fires me up...no matter the crap that comes our way in life...God NEVER leaves our sides...he is always listening and caring for us....wow! Great stuff!

Today, Shane Claiborne, author of Irrestible Revolution and Jesus for President, came to speak at our chapel service. I was floored...what a great talk and a great example of Christ in our generation. Because of men like this I believe there is hope for the future of our world. Claiborne is a man who has taken to living in the inner city of Philadelphia...living with the poor and living simply.

The question that stuck out most to me was "What if Jesus actually meant what he said in the Bible". What if the last shall be first, what if we should give to the poor above all else...what if we should love others as ourselves." Such thinking contradicts our culture. Claiborne and his friends have taken this literally, they have traveled the world, even working with Mother Teresa in India...but more importantly they live it out everyday of their lives. Such a lifestyle can be dangerous, but remember Jesus was a dangerous man. He never was about keeping the status quo. I loved how Claiborne pointed out the fact that the Bible has led to more people getting in trouble than any other book. How true... what the Bible demands of us goes against the grain... it begs us to make Christ and his cross the priority of our lives.

Now, I don't plan on dropping out of school tomorrow and moving into a cardboard box, but Claiborne's talk challenged me deeply. God has put a passion for those in dire straights, those living in poverty. My challenge now is to pray earnestly, seeking God's will for my life. Does it involve medicine like I think?...does it involve working with the poor? Regardless, I put my trust in Him that he will lead me to where I need to go. I also put faith in him that he means what he says!

Live Dangerously!

Uh....help?

What a crazy couple of weeks of life...I'm looking forward to a day where I can relax, sip on a glass of Diet Pepsi and reminisce about the days of running around and trying to keep everything straight! School has been kicking my butt lately! I've been doing alright in my classes, but overall I have been taxed more academically then ever before. It seems as though my hardest work and best effort still doesn't net me that elusive A grade. I believe the good Lord is humbling me through all of it.

I'm a Resident Assistant in a freshman dorm. I've seen some stuff...you will not imagine what has been left in the Burgess bathrooms (due to graphic nature it will be omitted :) ). However, the last week has probably been the hardest week of residence life. I've had to deal with seeing suffering amongst my guys. This is so hard to deal with for me at times. How badly I wish that guys could live lives full of happiness, especially those who know Jesus. This week, one of the great guys of my floor (who we'll call Favre for confidentiality) just found out his mom has cancer. Knowing the strain I would feel if I found out such news about my own mother made me genuinely feel hurt for him. Lots of questions come up when such things happen to people who love Jesus. I had the opportunity to listen to many of these questions from Favre, but unfortunately was not able to give any answers. Funny thing about God is that sometimes he saves answers for us for a time when we are better able to understand them. So, that has been a tough thing to deal with.

Another resident had some issues with demonic sorts of things. This is really a long story and not appropriate to talk about in a blog, but let me tell you Jesus Christ reigns over all evil!!

Finally, I had the opportunity to work with the Furniture Mission in Sioux Falls. Basically we donated furniture to needy families. This is a tough thing to see, driving around the poorest neighborhoods of Sioux Falls is like a different country. I wonder how many of our city's residents are even aware that such a poverty stricken area exists. My eyes were opened and I received a gut check. How tragic is it to see people struggling so much that they have kids sleeping on the floor and have NO furniture in their dwellings (some were too rough to call houses). How can any Christian not be hurt by the fact that there are people in such a state of suffering? My heart was broken for them, may I never reach a place where my own possessions become so important that I forget to help those in need the most.

So I'm at a place in life where I am putting up my hands and asking God for help. This is real life, it is easy to be a servant for God when things are going great. When the rubber hits the road and things start to get hard, people start to suffer, this is when we need to rely on God and the power of the cross to carry us through.

One final note, for the politically minded. I try not to make too many bold political statements on the blog, many readers of this particular blog probably don't care too much about political rhetoric. However, I feel compelled to say that I support our President and feel that he is the man for the job and will get things turned around. There is such an aura of negativity around people of my party (I'm a registered Republican). To be frankly honest, sometimes I am somewhat ashamed to call myself a Republican. People like Rush Limbaugh make me sick to my stomach (granted, I believe he is primarily an entertainer, not a politician...or at least I hope). This is pretty much an aside, but I felt I wanted to say it just because I've run across a substantial amount of friends who have been trashing our President.

Remember, God is with you and is willing to help. Live with reckless abandon for Him!

On the Dusty Road

In the Bible study I am a part of based on John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life, we talked about something last night that has crossed my mind many times the past year. Tonight, in the floor Bible study I lead we are tackling 1 Corinthians 1...also relating to what's been on my mind lately.

The issues of suffering and pain for Jesus has been coming up lately in my mind. We are called by Jesus himself to pick up our crosses and follow him. What does it mean to suffer for Christ, to die for him?? In order to live a life that is completely sold out for Christ do we need to say goodbye to comforts, safety, and pleasure? Is it possible to not waste your life if you don't do something radical for Jesus? I do not think that this is necessarily the case. There are people in our world who do lose their lives in the name of Jesus. That's a fact. However, I do not believe that every Christian who is a sold-out believer in the power of Jesus is destined to die a martyr's death. I know plenty of people who lived unwasted lives who did not die a martyr's death.

I look at my grandmother first of all. She passed away from complications from diabetes almost nine years ago already. A disease killed her, not a sword or other forms of persecution, but did she live a wasted life?? I find it hard to believe that she lived a wasted moment, let alone a wasted life. From growing up in hard times, to raising 5 God-fearing children, including my mom, to constantly showing Christ's love to us grandkids, this woman lived for Jesus and did not waste her life.

So we've established that one does not need to die a martyr's death to live an unwasted life. What was it that made my grandma and people like her not to live a wasted life. The answer I believe lies in the idea of daily dying to self. Perhaps this is somewhat of what Christ is saying when he says to pick up our crosses. This doesn't involve a literal picking up of a cross, it involves saying no to our selfish desires and putting God's first. It involves putting the cross of Christ at the center of our life...daily taking a trip down the dusty road of Calvary where we put our sins, our desires of the flesh at the foot of the cross. It is when we do this, we consciously put to death our own selfish desires that we really live. When Christ becomes the center of our life we are able to live lives that will bring him Glory!

May we never forget the power of Jesus Christ and what he accomplished on that dusty road to Calvary and then on the cross itself. Moreso, let us not forget what he accomplished by his resurrection and conquering of death. May all of our lives be living examples of what this means to us and bring glory to Him!

POWER!....without steroids

Been a super busy couple of weeks. Classes are hard, I'm not getting enough studying in for the MCAT, RA activities are great but time-consuming, I took a post as a DJ for the campus radio station....the list goes on!

With all of these activities and some other volunteering thrown on top my life seems to get out of control in a hurry. I personally am one of those people who likes to be busy, sitting around wasting time is not for me (*note, i do enjoy sitting around doing nothing and relaxing at times, not a waste of time at all)...but sometimes in the midst of all the business I get overwhelmed.

This past week I have been really reflecting on the power of Christ. It seems such a trivial thing for a Christian to talk about...no duh we think Christ is legit, we are CHRISTians after all right?

Something interesting happened this week. On Tuesday nights I volunteer with a group called Halo (it's a bible study we have at the VoA in town for troubled and substance abuse teenagers). It's really random because the head of it is my best friend's brother, my nearly life long neighbor, and role model growing up...but anyways, back to the story. We played a game with the kids and then watched some videos about a guy interviewing people about what happens after death. We broke up into small groups and Aaron and I led a group of young guys. What was so interesting for me was that while we talked everyone was willing to participate in "God talk"...as long as we were talking about "God/god" everything was fine, but when we mentioned Jesus Christ, three of the guys instantly started fidgeting, looking out the window, trying to get everyone else's attention off of us leaders who were basically sharing the Gospel. It was almost as if we were in the midst of the battle described by Paul in Ephesians 6.

All of this has really prompted me to investigate the power of Christ in my life. First of all I shouldn't have been surprised by the response of the boys. 1 corinthians 1 says something of the order that the message of the cross is foolishness to those who do not believe. It is almost as if the name of Christ is offensive to those who don't believe. Nearly all people seem willing to at least entertain the idea of a god but when Christ comes up something changes. Suddenly the rules have changed. Why is this?? I think it has much to do with the fact that in order to accept Christ as our Lord, we need to accept that we are failures. We fail to live up to the standards that God has set forth for us because of sin and evil. The problem is that so many people have the feeling that living "good lives" is all that's necessary to earn a spot in heaven. What a tradgedy if all there is to getting to heaven is living a good life. Think of how much we would miss as Christians.

You see as Christians it is not all about living the "good life" with God. So many Christians I have read about and know have not had good lifes in our worldly standards. Maybe it was a ravaging disease, a sudden death of a loved one, tough circumstances, whatever...following Christ doesn't guarantee one "riches". However, ask any Christian..."Is it worth it?" every single one will say yes. Why? There is absolutely nothing that compares with having a personal relationship with the creator of the universe. If all we had to do was live good lives, help others,etc...to get into heaven we would be missing out on the best part of life here on Earth.

To sum all of this together we must acknowledge in the mighty power of Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate source of hapiness and encouragement. He has the power to save anyone and if we as Christians are willing to accept this free gift from Him and share it with others we can bring further glory to him. Beware though, this will not be easy...sharing about someone who offends what those of the world hold dear will be sure to ruffle some feathers.

Live offensively.

Battle

What a full couple of days...

Brett Favre officially retired...again. I, along with many Packer fans I'm sure, refuse to acknowledge that Brett did not end his career with the Pack. Let's have a selective memory..I decide not to remember that Brett, my all-time favorite player, decided to attempt to tarnish his legacy by coming back to a 4-12 team and turning it into a 9-7 powerhouse. Agree to forget, ok, good. :)

He still is my all-time favorite player...although the Pack have this new guy Aaron Rodgers that I was impressed with and have become a big fan of.

I decided to become a DJ for the campus radio station, anyone can listen to me on Fridays from 10:00 am to 11:30 am. Weird time, but hey, it works in my crazy schedule. Not only will it give me another activity for my med school app, but it might turn out to be a good time!

I had my floor Bible study last night and we discussed Ephesians 6. This is definitely one of the greatest "manly" (as we so eloquently put it last night) passages of the Bible. Nothing like some swords, armor, and flaming arrows to get the testosterone pumping! It made me seriously think about the battle we all face with Satan and how exactly we can defeat him with Christ.

The past year and a half or so has been very challenging for me spiritually. Some circumstances have made it a tough year, mainly a mission trip that I led that turned into one of the most challenging and hurtful times of my life. I was co-leading with a former best friend. Things turned south between us during the trip based on his behavior. Being betrayed by a friend is tough stuff, but God has led me through it. Through it I have learned the tough lesson of what bitterness can do to one's soul. For so long I wanted to make this individual pay for what he did to me over there, to make him feel an ounce of what he made me feel by betraying me. This led to increasing resentment and lack of ability to trust others who began to get close to me. Let me speak to anyone and everyone. Bitterness, resentment, and revenge are NOT acceptable ways to deal with disappointment and hurt...they lead to more hurt and a callousing over of the heart.

In part because of this and because of my general leanings towards letting earthly goals overtake heavenly goals, I have slowly slid away from the close relationship I had with God during high school and my early college years. It has all been the result of Satan's attacks on me, just like the ones Paul talks about in Ephesians 6.

Tonight, I happily announce that through putting on the armor of God and finding the ability to forgive, I feel as though I am back on the road towards freedom in Christ. It has been a process and at times I slide back into the same old habits (anger, swearing, bitterness), but for the first time in about a year I feel as though I am thwarting Satan's advances on my relationship with God. I envision it as myself in a quicksand of sin, resentment, and overall muck being pulled down, only to have Christ's nail pierced hand reach down and grab my outstretched arm. Slowly but surely he is pulling me out of the muck, don't get me wrong it is a painful process, the resentment and bitterness has been a part of my life for nearly a year, but Christ continues to slowly pull me out of the quicksand. Much to my knowledge his hand has always been there, waiting for me to grasp it...praise God that I have finally reached for it.

I'm not sure if the person I talked about it will ever read this post. If you are, and you figured out that it is you I am writing about I want you to know that I am sorry. I am sorry that I have held anger and bitterness in my heart towards you and that I have wished suffering upon you. I forgive you for everything that has happened between us, and while I am unsure if we can ever be the friends we were, I want you to know that I no longer hold the bitterness towards you. May God Bless you and the anyone else reading this entry!

We Hold These Truths....

I'm in a Bible Study here at college and we are discussing John Piper's book, Don't Waste Your Life. Each week we take a look at a new chapter of Piper's book. The central thesis of the book is that we need to break the mold of living to please ourselves and step out into living our lives solely for the purpose of glorifying God.

Tonight we talked about objectivity some. Piper brought up the importance of taking an author's text for what he or she originally meant it to be. This was obviously applied to the Bible. Our group discussed the errors that can arise when the Bible becomes a book that is custom fit to an individual. One group member said something to the fact that there is no such thing as an interpretation of the Bible, we must hold it to be exactly what the original author intended.

This prompted me to ask the question, "What about denominations...there are certain things that we as a church hold to be non-negotiables (Christ is our Savior and Lord, etc.) and certain things that seem to have wiggle room such as baptism, communion, etc. Each denomination looks at the same Bible and gleans different meaning about these negotiables. Who is right I asked??

When I was in high school, my youth pastor used the negotiables vs. non-negotiables argument. To this day, it is the one I hold to. See in my mind, there are certain issues in Scripture that are discussed that I believe are ok to be left up to interpretation, the negotiables of faith. I refuse to believe that any denomination that believes Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior will be missing the boat (yeah, that includes Catholics too). It is because Protestant and Catholicism recognize the holiness of Jesus and his sacrifice on the cross that they are going to be saved, they agree on the non-negotiables. This does away with the arguments about other cults, or quasi-religions. They mess with the non-negotiables.

The question then comes up how do you decide what are the negotiables. Well, reader, that is if there are any readers except Taya and Sam :) yay for you guys!...it is something I am working on. I believe that non-negotiables are tied in with salvation. Not believing Christ is the way to heaven directly opposes the central theme of Christianity and would lead to a person's damnation. This makes Jesus's status as God and Savior unquestionable. However, if I decide to be baptised as an adult, have my child baptized as an infant, or not baptized at all, I do not believe my or my child's salvation is in jeopardy. Likewise with how I take communion, they don't take away my salvation. Now, I'm not saying they aren't important, but I am saying they are not the give all end all to our faith.

More to come on this later I'm sure.

In other news, I watched a bit of the President's remarks on television today. Regardless of how you feel about the man personally, I feel as though he will be the leader our nation leads. Whether his policies are what our nation needs or not will be decided by our children, not us, but I do feel as though he has the leadership qualities our nation needs during these tough times.

Continually Humbled

Let me begin this post by stating the obvious...I screw up a lot!

That being said...this weekend I was reminded of my need for a Savior. My temper has always been something that has been a problem for me. This weekend I lost my cool on my girlfriend via the phone. Thanks to the Lord for an understanding girlfriend...she is awesome!! Supa cool.

The whole situation really reminded me of my fallen state as a human being. The past week or so I had begun to start to think everything in my life was realigning. Then, I blow it again. Maybe it is for the better, when I get on a "hot streak" I often begin to think that I am the man. Screwing up points me right to God again.

The pastor's message today was really fitting. He is doing a series on the Gospel's core. Today was basically about the fact that God completely forgives. I began to think about how difficult it is for me to accept this forgiveness. Often after I screw up I am so determined that God needs to punish me, I am awful...that I completely miss grace. It's almost like God is sitting there smiling at me while I sit cowering awaiting my punishment. How far off I am...God completely forgives me thanks to the blood of Christ. I forever sing the praises of Jesus, my Savior. How humbling it is that no matter how awful I am, I can not make God love me any less.

The challenge is to impart this message to others. No matter what you've done God loves you and genuinely wants to forgive. Let's take a minute to humble ourselves and realize how much we need Jesus in our lives. Thanks be to him for what he does for us!

Broken but Fixable

As I sit here I reflect on the current state of our society. So much emphasis is placed on the broken nature of everything. The glass is always half empty. Things will always get worse before they get better and when they do get better they wont be as good as before.

Such thinking is so prevalent around me and I find myself getting sucked into it at times too. I once had a friend who simply attributed every wrong thing in the world to another sign that the times described in the book of Revelation were upon us. This individual is no longer a friend for reasons outside of this, but i find his thinking somewhat problematic. Forgive me for not knowing, but there is a verse in the Bible which speaks to the dangers of knowing exactly when Christ will return. We don't really have a clue. If signs point to the end of the world, fine...but I will refuse to believe things will continue getting worse and worse until I see Christ return and set up shop. I think of how easy it would me to become apathetic towards my faith and improving the world. If there's no hope for a better world, then why try??

I pray that I never get that attitude. May every day of my life be one in which I can say that the world is that much closer to being a better place. With God all things are possible. I dare to say that issues such as hunger and poverty will meet their end in my lifetime. No longer will people be treated as less than people in any part of the world. People everywhere will be able to access affordable health care. The overall attitude of competition and hate will be shifted to a new attitude of unity and love. With a group of people believing this and empowered by the Holy Spirit we WILL see this happen. God will open the hearts of people around the world. We must believe this!

As I see the shattered status of our world, I also can see the similar brokenness in my own life. How often I stray from the path leading me to Christ's cross and his plans for my life. I, like our world, need to be fixed. The only answer for everything discussed here is Christ's blood. By it I am redeemed, and by it the world can be redeemed. May I be forgiven for the times where I neglect this fact.

Definitely will be an interesting couple of weeks politic wise. Will have to wait and see what happens with this gigantic bill. Here's my main problem with it. It is a 900 billion dollar bill!! A site I was looking at said that the world's water problem could be solved for 10 billion dollars! What the heck?!?! With all of the pork that is in this bill we couldn't spare 10 billion to solve one of the world's biggest killers, lack of clean drinking water? This is a true shame if we spend so much on our own country yet forget those in need around the world. I agree that we need to have something like this to jumpstart our economy, but for goodness sakes if you are going to put a load of needless projects in on the bill at least put money in it to help those around the world. We will see what happens!

The Genesis of Blogging?!

So here I sit on a Saturday night in my house with everyone else sleeping...super exciting I know. This year (the school year) I've really started to find myself becoming more opinionated about many of life's pressing issues. Personally, I am not a huge fan of debating with people over such issues in person. I don't think I've ever really had an argument where someone "won". Usually both parties involved become more entrenched in their initial positions than they were before arguing...hey, who likes to lose?? Often a person cedes to the other arguer only to renounce their surrender soon after the victor has left. That being said, I figured I'd try out the blogging world as a mouthpiece for what is going on inside my head regarding issues in my life, my faith, my politics, and the Green Bay Packers (sorry, big fan :) ).

So...for those of you who don't know me well. I'm pre-med at the University of Sioux Falls. Currently studying for the MCAT...the biggest test of my life (no pressure!). I have a lovely girlfriend named Taya, a great family who lives here in Sioux Falls and lots of friends at school. Most importantly I am a firm believer in my need for Jesus Christ. He is my savior and best friend. I am a blessed man, for sure.

I'm not sure how often I'll update this, maybe every day, maybe once a month, maybe once every 3 months...who knows. Lately, I've been so full of opinions about various issues that I figured a blog would be fun, plus I'm bored tonight and don't feel like studying for the MCAT any more today.

First off, I'd like to make a general comment about politics. I found a video clip of a conservative commentator, Rush Limbaugh calling out our new president and saying he hopes that he fails. Wow...our country is falling apart economically, we are in the middle of two long ugly wars, millions around the world are hungry and thirsty and this tool wants our new leader to fail? How does such a guy have so many listeners?? Granted, I'm sure (at least I hope) that this was a publicity stunt...a hyperbole to raise attention to his obvious disagreements with our president. Now, being a moderate (yay for the middle :) ) I will be fair and say there are an abundancy of radical liberals in the media who spew equally ridiculous comments, but lately it seems as though the radical conservatives have been getting under my political skin a bit more.

My inbox has been flooded with emails recently basically letting me know how flawed all of our new president's plans are for the economy and health care. Now, I do not in any way think socialized medicine is the answer, as most of these emails argued against, but I also do not think that we can immediately claim that all of these ideas are flawed. I especially love how the people sending the emails probably don't have the slightest idea what the health care system is like or will be like under the new plan (I confess I do not understand everything either), but let's give it a shot rather than completely shooting everything down like a week into the new administration. I stood by Bush's decisions to the end, and I plan on doing the same thing for President Obama.

Whew, my apologies if any blog entries about politics offend you and I do invite and encourage comments back critical or not about what I discuss. As a believer in Christ, I find politics important enough to discuss but not to overcome my faith. I challenge everyone to pray for our new president and leaders that they will make decisions that will better our world and please God.

In coming blogs I hope to make comments about the issues important to me such as poverty around the world and health care as well as chronicle the quest for med school (cheesey enough for ya :) ). I hope to elaborate on what God is teaching me so that he could teach you as well. It is my prayer that you all have a good day the day you read this.